Pikachu! I choose you!

I don't care much for reviews, so I won't give you one (you'll find plenty at the [Internet Movie Database], along with a synopsis and more information than you will ever care to read). Go watch the movie, make up your own mind.

As for what I thought of Princess Mononoke, it was fine. Not Miyazaki's best -- I liked [Laputa: Castle in the Sky] better -- but I'm positive Disney will make sure to hire equally boring voice actors for the next [Studio Ghibli] flick they release. Perhaps someday anime theatrical releases will actually be subtitled and bad dubbing will be simply an unpleasant memory, but I'm not holding my breath. Whatever.

Anyway, the movie had some interesting imagery, and an equitable -- if somewhat heavy-handed -- treatment of the Man vs. Nature theme. I thought it was handled better in [Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind], but one could argue either way. The animation was good (not great), and the characters were... well... they were. Don't get me wrong, though, I had a pretty good time watching this flick in a nice, big theatre, and I'd encourage people to catch it at their "local" (heh, heh) cinema before it vanishes next month.

Speaking of catching, a week later I saw the [Pokémon] movie, and again I had a pretty good time. For all its flaws I thought it did some things better than the Miyazaki film. In fact, I would venture that they complement each other well as far as their strengths are concerned, and could cancel out to an extent their respective flaws. Call it Mononokémon, where Ash Itaka -- a young Pokémon trainer wannabe -- must leave his village when he is ten years old in order to become a Pokémon Master. He takes with him a cute little Pikachu provided by the Elders. Ash soon discovers, through a Dragonite, that all is not well in the forest, as the news of terrible Pokémon battles spread throughout the country. (We get plenty of screen time for this Dragonite, if for no better reason than Miyazaki's scenes of flight being so damn cool). So anyway, Ash discovers that a genetically engineered Pokémon has been created by Lady Eboshi, a.k.a "The Boss", and she is intent not only in eliminating all forest Pokémon, but is actually planning on killing the rarest Pokémon of them all: Godmew. Clearly, she must be stopped!

Ash soon discovers that Pikachu is no ordinary Pokémon: the little guy is actually quite fiesty, zapping people left and right -- not necessarily Ash's intention. Fortunately these are mostly bad guys, and Pikachu is so cute we can't help but feel all gushy when he squeals [Pika Pika]!

On his journey Ash Itaka meets lots of interesting people with cool Pokémon, such as Jiko Brouck and Team Rocket. These last two are mainly a source of comic relief for the kids, although I'd wager that Jessie is there in no small part to cater to all those Sailor Moon "fans". I'll admit, she's easy on the eyes, but then again...

In any case, Ash soon encounters Misty-san, who has in her possession three enormous Ninetails which she uses to battle Lady Eboshi. Ditching the "fighting is bad" preaching tacked on by a nervous studio, we get right down to business in an all-out melee (say, Miyazaki's tribute to [Sam Peckinpah]) between the forest Pokémon and Eboshi's super-Pokémon, Godmewtoo. The latter basically wipes out everything in its path, and manages to behead Godmew! Unfortunately in this universe decapitated creatures -- gods, Pokémon et al -- do die, so it's up to a badly injured Pikachu to stand up against Godmewtoo. Call it "Last Pokémon Standing".

Little Pikachu desperately needs a recharge, and there's only one way to obtain it: it turns out Lady Eboshi has recently built a dam (poetically named the Tree Gorgeous Dam), in order to power her factory's machinery. Ironically this substitutes messy coal-burning as a source of energy, but is it really a nature-friendly power source? The dam hasn't been actually put into operation yet, but the effects on the environment have already been felt, although they are inconclusive. In any case, it doesn't matter now, Pikachu must be revived, and so Ash connects the pokémon's cheeks to the main power outlet and presses the "on" switch.

Twenty-six turbines come to life within the 60-story mountain made of 500 million cubic metres of reinforced concrete. The combined energy output of 18 nuclear reactors is pumped into little Pikachu, who growls "Pikaaaa!" at the onslaught of power.

Within a minute Pikachu absorbs one trillion (10^12) joules, just as Godmewtoo makes his appearance and fires a final, lethal psychic blast. At this point Pikachu roars "Pikachooooooooo!" and releases a flash of lightning which rips through the atmosphere, "burning" the air itself, generating a thunderbolt which is heard twenty kilometres away.

After a few minutes the smoke clears. Pikachu, ragged and burnt, lies immobile on the ground, while Godmewtoo is nowhere to be seen. Ash hugs his Pokémon, who slowly opens his eyes and murmurs a weak "Pika". The little guy is going to be OK, they've won!

Grudgingly, Lady Eboshi hands Ash a Pokémon badge. Although her forays in genetic engineering have been halted, it's not clear what has been accomplished. After all, she was only doing it to cure her AIDS-infected cohorts, is that so bad? Progress always comes at a price, but the question is, is it worth it? The forest god perished, but even Lady Eboshi realizes that ruining all natural resources will eventually destroy her own people, and hence she built the dam which had just saved our heroes. But the dam itself is controversial, what's preferable? Eighteen nuclear reactors or the unpredictable modification of entire ecosystems both nearby and thousands of kilometres away?

Dragonite, who shows up because he flies and is so cool, looks down at all involved as he hovers way above their heads. To him the answer is simple (he is, after all, the smartest of Pokémon). He just glances upwards, at the ultimate source of it all. His species, after all, is not just another variety of Pokémon: Dragonite is an explorer, a watcher so to speak (like the one in the Fantastic Four). And yet he is not without empathy, for history has taught his brothers and sisters that ultimately Dyson's dreams must come true if humankind is to survive and attain a balance with Nature. The question is, will progress be swift enough to avoid an ecological cataclysm? Not even Dragonite knows the answer to this dilemma, and thus it is up to us to forge our own destiny.

The film ends with a closing shot of Dragonite flying through the clouds. As I wipe the tears from my eyes I listen wistfully to the j-pop tune in the background while the credits roll. I recognize the song as being ["Ai no Tenshi"], and thus I realize it was the last touch this movie needed to become "Perfect Mononokémon".

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